“For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.” Isaiah 41:13
“For the Lord God will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed.” Isaiah 50:7
I slowly walked into my room, feeling like a complete disaster. I had failed. Utterly failed. I had let down myself, my family, and, most importantly, my God. My grand plans and high hopes of the previous few days lay crumbled and broken at my feet.
I had asked God to help me overcome my bad habit of laziness, but no results from my prayer had arisen. I felt drained. Physically and spiritually drained.
Just that evening, we had held a Bible Study with two wonderful Christian friends. As the thoughts of the precious few hours sank in, my spirits fell lower. I had failed, utterly and completely. I could see no way to get over my barrier. My heart felt like lead, or like a heavy brick. I felt as though I were trying to push through an immovable concrete wall, and doing so I suddenly knew that the barrier was of my own lazy building.
As I thought of how I had allowed myself to become so utterly tired, sudden inspiration flooded my soul. Of course! Why hadn’t I thought of it sooner? Other times when I felt like this I either read a lot from the Bible, or cried out to the LORD in prayer.
I have never been (at least, in the years that I can remember) a very emotional person. Especially in these later years I have rarely shed a tear. It was the same in this situation: My heart was crying, but my eyes refused to flow. I fell to my knees beside the bed, and began to pour my heart out to the LORD.
“Father,” I began. “I’m going to kneel even if it hurts.” (I had hurt my knee several days before.) “Father, I’m sorry for being so lazy, for putting all the responsibility on You. You know how I asked You to break my habit, and then sat back to watch You do it. You know all about that, and I’m sorry. I should have done something about it, Father, instead of just waiting for You to change me. I’m sorry, Father.”
I went on to tell Him of some specific things, but the message struck home. I was waiting on Him to change me, when there was something I could probably do on my end about it. The phrase, “God helps those who help themselves” rung through my mind. I should have done my best to fix the problem, and I hadn’t.
From then on, I determined to do what I can instead of just waiting for the things I’ve asked for to show up. “By my God I can leap over a wall!” (Psalm 18:29, RSV).
Amazed at God’s ability to show me wonderful new truths,
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